As the author of best-selling “self-help” books, you might be surprised to find that I wholeheartedly believe that if you want to improve your performance at almost anything, your odds of success improve considerably the moment you enlist someone else to help you!Some of us practice this instinctively. We enlist a friend to join us for yoga class or commit to training for a marathon with a group. We enjoy the companionship...

As a manager or leader, do you let your people assume more responsibility when they are able? Do you know when that is, or do you keep telling yourself that they aren’t ready yet?In my travels around the world, I talk with thousands of people every year who want to be treated as “partners” rather than as employees. They want information to flow up as well as down. But, oftentimes, leaders do not want to give up control.I kn...

As an executive coach, I’ve been helping successful people achieve positive lasting change in behavior for more than thirty-five years. Most of my clients embrace the opportunity to change, and most are aware of the fact that behavioral change will help them become more effective leaders, partners, and even family members. A few are not. My process of helping clients is straightforward and consistent. I interview and listen...

Let’s dive into one of my favorite coaching exercises. This exercise will help you determine where you are and who you want to become. I love this exercise. I hope you do too!First imagine you’re 95 years old. You’re just about to die. You’re given a gift. To go back in time, to this moment and to tell yourself what was really important and what wasn’t, what really mattered and what didn’t. What advice would this wise “old...

A Little BackgroundWhen it comes to self-reflection, asking yourself active questions rather than passive questions changes the focus of your answers – and empowers you to make changes you wouldn’t otherwise consider!I learned about active questions from my daughter, Kelly Goldsmith. Kelly has a Ph.D. in behavioral marketing and teaches at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management. Yes, I am a proud father!Kelly and I wer...

This might surprise you, but success is all about structure. As a matter of fact, we do not get better, we do not change our behavior, and we do not become successful without it! Yet, most people don’t. Not only is having and utilizing structure a challenge, but you have the added test of incorporating the right structure – meaning a structure that fits the situation and personalities involved, including yours.Yet, it’s cri...

“The great majority of people tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than results. They worry over what the organization and their superiors ‘owe’ them and should do for them. And they are conscious above all of the authority they ‘should have.’ As a result they render themselves ineffectual.”—Peter DruckerYou can make a positive difference, even when you do not have direct line authority.Here are 11...

Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations -- when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty....